50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!
by Asami-chann
Summary: Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number nineteen - I will not challenge Hyotei on behalf of the first years. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Oneshots and Drabbles.
1. Experience one

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number one – I will not tell Oishi he should be a woman. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience one**

Tomoka sat in awe of Oishi's incredibly motherly instincts. Oishi was never the type to push someone beyond his helping capabilities away. He broke his arm helping a woman in child labour to the nearest hospital.

Sakuno looked at her best friend. "Tomoka-chan, is something wrong?"

Tomoka ignored the fact Oishi was right next to her. "Don't you think Oishi-senpai should be a girl? He can be so maternal at times! He's like Seigaku's mother figure!"

Oishi was speechless and unsure so he walked to his red-headed doubles partner for clarification. "Eiji, do you think I'm maternal?"

Eiji smiled brightly. "Yep, nya!"

Tomoka laughed nervously as Oishi went into a case of severe depression because he was called girly. Eiji was jumping around with the very few masculine points about Oishi he could think of.

It didn't work.

**I will not tell Oishi he should be a woman.**


	2. Experience two

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number two – I will not ask Tezuka to say 'penis' instead of 'pillar'. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience two**

Tomoka and Sakuno sat on a chair talking about things that really had nothing to do with tennis. Except the subject of Echizen Ryoma.

Meanwhile, the Seigaku tennis team were training as they did everyday.

By Inui's mastermind, he placed Echizen and Tezuka against Fuji and Eiji. Echizen, being a singles player most matches, was being pushed to his limit just to hit the ball instead of Tezuka. When he did, Tezuka usually made a quote of 'don't let down your guard' or something along those lines.

Now, Tomoka and Sakuno had gotten onto a random topic that had nothing to do with Echizen or Tennis.

At this time, Tezuka started another infamous quote. "Echizen, become Seigaku's-"

Tomoka randomly said this word with really bad timing. "Penis."

Tezuka, after hearing that, unconciously said that instead of pillar. "Penis."

Echizen fainted while Eiji burst into fits of laughter. Of course, most of the courts heard Tezuka's mistake and were either blushing madly, fainted like Echizen, or staring in disbelief that their buchou would say such a thing.

Fuji came over to Tezuka's ear, Tezuka unsure of what he had said that was so funny. "Tezuka, you said 'Echizen, become Seigaku's penis."

Tezuka, for the first time in his life, was shocked. He turned to the culprits of the making him say the wrong thing and shouted. "Osakada! Ryuuzaki! Three hundred laps around the court! Now!"

**I will not ask Tezuka to say 'penis' instead of 'pillar'.**

(A/N: Review, please?)


	3. Experience three

50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat Rikkai Dai, St Rudolf and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number three – I will not tell Nanjirou that Echizen has a boyfriend. Crackish. Minor fluff. Series of Oneshots and Drabbles.**

Experience three

Sakuno sat on the chair beside the tennis courts puffing from her three hundred laps enforced by Tezuka thanks to her best friend's bad timing with words.

Tomoka still had a few laps to go, as she ran around Sakuno's side. "Sakuno-chan, are you sure you didn't skip some laps?" Tomoka puffed, barely able to breathe.

Sakuno, shaking her head, looked over at Eiji and Oishi as Eiji was still trying to cheer Oishi up from his own bad choice of words. Oishi was still very upset about being told that he should have been born a girl and that he was very maternal.

Echizen, however, sat on a bench on the inside of the court with his obsession, a can of ponta. If you were to buy Echizen a beverage, it would have to be ponta, and nothing else.

Sakuno looked at Fuji who was coming over to Echizen. At times, Fuji and Echizen got so close people would actually think they were dating, although at others you thought the complete opposite. "Tomo-chan, are you finished running now?"

Tomoka, who had finally finished her laps and stolen Sakuno's water bottle. "Yes."

Sakuno looked at Fuji and Echizen, then back at Tomoka. "Tomo-chan, have you ever thought Ryoma-kun and Fuji-senpai are dating?"

Realizing as he entered the tennis courts to pick up his youngest son, Echizen Nanjirou froze. "Eh?!"

Echizen turned around and Fuji tripped, Fuji's arms wrapping around Echizen so he didn't fall on the ground. Echizen, instinctively, wrapped his arms around Fuji so Fuji wouldn't spill his Ponta as he fell on Echizen.

Now, seeing this, Nanjirou freaked out. "No, no, no, no! My Ryoma-chan can't love other boys!"

At these words, Echizen looked at his overdramatic father along with the rest of Seishun Gakuen's boy's tennis club. "Nani?"

Of course, Nanjirou ran over to Echizen and pulled Fuji off of his son and spilt Echizen's ponta. "My ponta…" Echizen almost cried quietly.

Nanjirou took his son away, leaving Fuji in shock.

Tezuka turned around and looked at the Echizens. "Echizen, Echizen's oyaji, twenty laps for disturbing practice, now."

As the Echizens completed their laps, Eiji walked over to Fuji. "Oi, I didn't know you and O'chibi were dating."

Inui started writing in his notebook. "Ii. Data."

**I will not tell Nanjirou that Echizen has a boyfriend.**

(A/N: Review, pretty please?)


	4. Experience four

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number four – I will not cover Echizen's tennis bag with cat toys. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience four**

Echizen sat on the chair outside of the tennis practise the next day, his bag absolutely covered in cat toys. Someone had mentioned that his cat's birthday was today, and thus, the nameless offenders had covered his bag in toys. Karupin, yet again, followed Ryoma to school because of it.

Karupin was happy though, a yellow cat toy in his mouth as he splayed himself over Echizen's lap.

Echizen couldn't leave his adorable cat to just sit there. He had to pat it.

He was still being consulted by his father for the incident with Fuji and Oishi seemed to be in a slightly better mood. Tezuka, however, was giving a lot of laps out to those speaking while he spoke. He obviously had been mortified with his mistake.

Fuji sat beside Echizen. "Do you need some help? Ryuuzaki-chan and Osada-chan heard that it was your cat's birthday and decided to cover your bag in stuff that cat's like. It was meant to be a good thing at heart."

Echizen rolled his eyes as he handed Fuji the bag. "You fix it, I'm gonna play Momo-senpai."

Momoshirou lost a whole 7-0 to a very mad Echizen. Momoshirou spent the rest of the lesson sulking that Echizen was trying to kill him.

**I will not cover Echizen's tennis bag with cat toys.**

(A/N: Review, please? When I read these tomorrow, it'll be my birthday!)


	5. Experience five

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat Rikkaidai, St Rudolf's and Hyotei.**

**Thanks for all the happy birthday messages. My birthday was great! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number five – I will not tell Eiji that Oishi loves Tezuka. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience five**

Rumors were always around Seishun Gakuen, particuarly the day when Eiji was feeling lonely because his sisters had gone overseas together.

It made the large house a lot emptier.

Tomoka wasn't really someone who took any notice of Eiji when he was in a bad mood. At least not straight away. "They say Oishi-senpai is with Tezuka-senpai."

Eiji, being as lonely as he was, was upset by this. "What about Eiji-kun! Fujiko-chan has o'chibi and now Oishi had Tezuka. Why doesn't anyone love Eiji!"

Eiji turned around and ran off, upset by his loneliness.

Tomoka turned around in shock. "I meant that Oishi was with Tezuka to see Ryuuzaki-sensei."

Tezuka, who overheard Eiji's rather loud cry, instantly turned to the culprits of many problems lately. "Osakada! Ryuuzaki! 10 laps, now!"

Ryuuzaki-sensei looked at Tezuka. "What did my granddaughter do wrong?"

Tezuka looked at Ryuuzaki with a glare that only shouted at her that Tezuka was serious about giving the dragon lady's granddaughter laps.

Ryuuzaki shuddered. She had only seen such a look once in her life before, and that had given her nightmares.

Horrible nightmares.

**I will not tell Eiji that Oishi loves Tezuka.**


	6. Experience six

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number six – I will not ask Fuji to wear a bear suit. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience six**

Tomoka sat eying Momoshirou's birthday invitation. Of all the things he would plan, he planned a dress up party. He was now FOURTEEN! Not many fourteen year olds would have a dress up party.

Fuji sat contemplating what he would dress up as. Echizen was less than a help as he sat sipping on his ponta.

Sakuno smiled. "I know! You could dress up in a bear suit, representing your higuma otoshi!"

Fuji nodded. "That's a good idea."

Sakuno smiled. "I'm glad to help."

**Later**

Fuji stood in the crowd in his bear suit, everyone else generally in the outfit of a prince or princess.

If he did one thing, it was look different. Very different.

Sakuno sat in the corner, feeling guilty that Fuji was being humiliated.

**I will not ask Fuji to wear a bear suit.**

**(**A/N: Review, pretty please?)


	7. Experience seven

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number seven – I will not tell Momo that I think Kaidoh is a better player. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience seven**

"Tomo-chan."

Tomoka looked up at her best friend. She was looking worried. "What is it, Sakuno-chan?"

Sakuno looked at the match between Momoshirou and Kaidoh. "Who do you think will win? They are both great players and this match is so far even and..."

Tomoka smiled. "Kaidoh-senpai has the upper hand in this match! He's playing better than Momo-chan-senpai!"

At these words, Momoshirou suddenly grew stronger, a tennis shot making contact with a few of the non-regulars. This put tingles down Tomoka's spine.

The game finished, 7 – 6, Kaidoh just winning. Momoshirou was upset of course. He usually won against Kaidoh.

Momo huffed as he walked off the court. "Mamushi is not a better player than I am."

**I will not tell Momo that I think Kaidoh is a better player.**


	8. Experience eight

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number eight – I will not tell Kaidoh he doesn't run far enough. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience eight**

Sakuno read through the weekly tennis magazine. It had an article on training for professional tennis players who ran over ten kilometres at least five times a day. She read that aloud as Kaidoh walked into tennis practise.

Tomoka smiled. "Really?"

Sakuno smiled back as Kaidoh walked over to get his tennis racket from Tomoka. "Yes! It's even more than Kaidoh-senpai!"

Tomoka rolled her eyes. "That's because they are professionals! They don't usually go to school either."

Sakuno looked down nervously. "I forgot about that."

The next day, Kaidoh looked more determind for training than usual according to Inui. He had run an extra six kilometres in his morning run and was ready to start morning practise.

Inui quickly wrote in his note book. "Must tell Kaidoh he can do more. Ii data."

**I will not tell Kaidoh he doesn't run far enough.**


	9. Experience nine

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number nine – I will not ask Echizen to be an English translator. Crackish. Minor fluff.**

**Experience nine**

Echizen sat in English class, studying his book very quietly according to everyone else. He was really mastering the art of sleeping with his eyes open so he could go through class unnoticed.

However, this didn't work as Tomoka dragged Sakuno to Echizen's desk. Echizen looked up and looked at the girls with a tired look as he blinked so he could see straight. "Yes?"

Tomoka put a magazine article on Echizen's desk and pointed to the words. "Can you translate this?"

Echizen nodded. "I can."

They stood there for several moments and Echizen didn't move. "Well, are you going to?"

Echizen smirked. "No."

Tomoka huffed. "Why won't you? You can translate English, can't you?"

Echizen would have pulled his hat over his eyes if he had it on in class. "I can, but I won't."

Sakuno was obviously upset by this. "But, Ryoma-kun, it's about you."

Echizen nodded. "I can read my name."

Tomoka stormed off with Sakuno by the wrist. Tomoka was definitely not happy.

**I will not ask Echizen to be an English translator**


	10. Experience TEN

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number nine – I will not watch Inui make Inui Juice. Crackish. Minor fluff.**

**Experience ten**

"The pot seemed like it was going to bubble over like a cauldron as cackling laughter filled the room,"

Echizen rolled his eyes as he pulled down his cap, avoiding the voices of Sakuno and Tomoka. Sakuno shivered. "That's going over the top, isn't it, Tomo-chan?"

Tomoka sat across from the other first years, telling her exaggerated tale of how Inui was making his juice in the science labs earlier that day. She had secretly watched Inui do this, along side Sakuno, after storming away from her English class because of Echizen. "It's true! I think Inui must be some sort of dark wizard or something! It was really scary."

Inui held out his new concoction. It was orange. The same colour as the one Inui had already been formulating in the science labs. "Who ever falls behind drinks my new Inui super-powered, deluxe juice. Thirty laps. Freshmen as well."

Instantly the first years ran as fast as they could, the images of an insane Inui standing over a cauldron in the front of their minds. All of them screamed in unison. "I don't want to drink that!"

**I will not watch Inui make Inui Juice.**

**(**Sorry for the late update! Here are three chapters to make up for it! Please review! Please?)


	11. Experience eleven

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number eleven – I will not tell Akaya that he is nothing like the devil. Crackish. Minor fluff.**

**Experience eleven – IT'S RIKKAI!!**

Akaya sat calmly at the regional tournament that had started recently. Of course, Seigaku were there too, so the troublemakers that had caused everything to go wrong in Seigaku had been sent to annoy another team.

Tomoka crossed her arms as she loudly exclaimed her point of view. "I believe that Akaya is nothing like the devil! Even when his eyes are bloodshot!"

Akaya stood up as he heard his name called to play against Momoshirou.

Standing in the court, the whole of Rikkai Dai sweat dropped. "Akaya has gone haywire."

Akaya, meanwhile, was trying to prove his devilish instincts to be real. _I'm the closest to the devil these guys will ever be!_

Momoshirou, however, was barely thrilled by this. He had seen Fuji play and win against Akaya _blind _so Momoshirou should have been able to beat him when he could see. Momoshirou wasn't happy he didn't get much of a challenge but played. Akaya was too busy trying to prove something that Momoshirou barely noticed.

And what do the people at Rikkai know? Akaya shouldn't be tormented. It gives the other team a strange advantage in the end.

**I will not tell Akaya that he is nothing like the devil.**

**(**Please review! Please?)


	12. Experience twelve

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat Rikkaidai, St Rudolf's and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number tweleve – I will not challenge the resemblance of the dunk smash and Kikumaru beam. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience twelve**

Inui sat with his notebook, changing and re-arranging his data. He was approached by Tomoka and Sakuno who were curious.

Inui raised his eyes, looking at the girls. "Can I help you?"

Tomoka gulped. "Inui-senpai, can you explain the difference between Momo-chan-senpai's dunk smash and Eiji-senpai's Kikumaru beam?"

Inui was glad that someone had begun to appreciate the fact he collected data for a reason other than to defeat others himself. It was also for Seigaku against other teams and for the players to build on.

Inui, who magically obtained a white board, drew two diagrams that looked nothing like the labeled names of Eiji and Momoshirou. "Momoshirou's dunk smash is a high speed and powerful smash that has a 97 chance of not being able to be returned. Momoshirou jumps forward towards the ball to create twice the power and speed in it's return, making it more effective than an ordinary smash. Eiji's Kikumaru beam is a smash that is directed where there is no one standing and is hard to reach. It's a behind the back hit that is carefully pinpointed to a direction that makes it unique because of his acrobatic ability and accuracy."

Inui continued to ramble on about this for a long time, so long that both Momoshirou and Eiji had begun to listen so they could understand their own moves better.

Tomoka sighed. _I shouldn't have asked._

**I will not challenge the resemblance of the dunk smash and Kikumaru beam.**

**(Sorry this one is late, but there will be no update later. I'll make a super special update tomorrow!! And I'll try make it longer too! Please review!!)**


	13. Experience thirteen! SUPER SPECIAL 1!

50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat Rikkaidai, St Rudolf's and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number thirteen - THE SUPER SPECIAL UPDATE PART 1!!. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience thirteen**

"_Wahhh! It's so hot outside today! We can't practice outside! We'll get heat stroke!"_

The tennis club sat inside on the first Saturday of the month, letting their precious training time slip by because of the hot weather.

Eiji looked at Oishi and sighed. "Oishi. I wanted to practice doubles again today."

Oishi smiled. "If we can't play today, we'll go when it cools down later to the street courts and play for a while."

Eiji smiled. "Heehh? Really? I really want to play, nya!"

Fuji smiled at Echizen. "If we do get out, would you like to play a game with me?"

Echizen, who was reflecting on his father's strange behaviour toward him since the Fuji incident, didn't notice the question. He just nodded as if he had paid attention and spoke his infamous words.

"Mada mada dane."

Momoshirou sat on the other side of Echizen in a slight pout. Kaidoh, whom was quite happy to sit quietly, sat on the other side of Momoshirou while trying to avoid looking at his rival.

Momoshirou turned to Kaidoh. "Ne, Mamushi, a match later?"

Kaidoh simply nodded and it was arranged. Yet again would the rivalry play against each other.

Inui sat quietly in the corner, examining the fruit bowl that Ryuuzaki-sensei had brought in for the players to eat if they felt hungry. Sadly, the only ones who ate were Fuji and Kaidoh.

Tomoka walked over to the bowl, and Ryuuzaki-sensei for that matter, and looked at the golden _pear _in the middle. "Ryuuzaki-sensei, is it alright if I eat the golden pear?"

Now, to Eiji, this sounded like Tomoka was a cannibal. "No! You'll never eat us alive!"

Eiji took Oishi by the arm and ran, hiding from Tomoka not too far away. Oishi had to protest. "Eiji, what are you doing?"

Eiji was worried for his friend. "Tomo-chan just asked if she could eat the golden pair! She's become a cannibal!"

Oishi sighed. "No, she was asking for a golden pear, not pair! She's not going to eat us."

Eiji didn't believe him. "I don't believe you." I told you. "Tomo-chan's been acting strange lately and I think she's going to eat us!"

Oishi nodded at the second comment, but not the third. "She has been acting strangely irritating lately, but that's no reason to say she will eat us."

Eiji whined. "She will! I know she will."

It took a very long time to convince Eiji that Tomoka was not going to eat them, but he was still weary. Tomoka had eaten the golden _pear _whilst Oishi was with Eiji, and so, she seemed quite satisfied.

Oishi dragged Eiji back into the room with the others, though he was determind that Tomoka was going to drive his best friend insane. She had already given Eiji the impression that not only Fuji and Echizen were dating, but Oishi and Tezuka were too. Eiji had been very lonely at the time and wailed for hours.

Oishi grabbed his doubles partner's hand and smiled. "See, she ate the golden _pear._"

Ryuuzaki-sensei looked at Eiji. "What is going on with you? You look..."

Fuji completed her sentence for her, in what would be her words at least. "drunk and disorderly?"

Ryuuzaki nodded. "Yes. Eiji, all Tomoka wanted was to eat the golden pea-"

Eiji ran off again, dragging Oishi away with him. "Noooooo!!"

**I will not ask Ryuuzaki-sensei for a golden pear.**

**(Review please! It's a week late, but it's up. The next chapter is ultra funny and you'll enjoy it! But for now, review!!)**


	14. Experience fourteen! SUPER SPECIAL 2!

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat Rikkaidai, St Rudolf's and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number fourteen - THE SUPER SPECIAL UPDATE PART 2 OF 3!!. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**(A/N: Italics means the other person on the phone in another place is talking, and underlined means they are actually talking in English. Just a heads up!)**

**Experience fourteen**

_"Did you know that Ryuuzaki-sensei thinks that Echizen Nanjirou sucked at tennis- !"_

Nanjirou sat in a very upset manner at the side of the competition grounds. The latest tournament had brought Nanjirou to try and watch his son play for once. Echizen had suggested that Nanjirou not come but no, Nanjirou felt abnormally clinging to Echizen today.

_Maybe Nanako decided to drug oyaji's breakfast today, _Echizen thought as he felt not only Eiji clinging onto him, but his ever so annoying father as well.

Nanjirou whined with tears in his eyes. "Ryoma-chan, baa-chan's being mean to me! She said I suck at tennis!"

Nanjirou had been clinging onto Echizen before he even left the house this morning. The only times he let go was when Echizen physically pulled himself from between Nanjirou and Eiji and thus Nanjirou and Eiji clinged onto each other for a few moments without realising. The reaction afterwards was slightly amusing, but then the pair would find Echizen again and continue to drown him in unneeded hugs.

Echizen really had the feeling that if he did something irrational, maybe the pair would let go and hold someone else for a while. Either that or he could call his mother; the very loud and aggressive mother of his when it came to Echizen's father.

Echizen nodded as he pulled out the phone his mother had given to him in case of emergencies. Echizen was glad that his father was rusty on English as his mother pretty much spoke over the phone fluently unless it was someone from Japan calling her.

He looked for the number in his phone that he had purposefully set to English so no one else could understand it. "Eto... there."

The small silver phone dialed. The pair clinging to Echizen had yet to realise that he had actually gotten out his phone.

"_Hello?"_

"Hello, Mother. How are you?"

"_Ah! Ryoma!! How are you? I'm really good. You don't call me very often. Why don't you call me? I asked you to call everyday! How's your stupid father?"_

Echizen chuckled which made Eiji and Nanjirou look at Echizen. Echizen rarely ever laughed. It was the same laugh that Inui had when he was about to do something completely evil. "Well, mother, the old man is clinging onto me and has been for the whole day. I'm at a tennis tournament and I can't play with him like this. He keeps sulking. Can you please talk to him?"

Echizen could hear his own mother chuckle over the phone. _"Sure, dear!"_

Echizen handed the phone to his father and watched his face straighten. "Moshi mos-"

"_NANJIROU! WHEN I GET TO JAPAN YOU'RE IN FOR IT! HOW DARE YOU ANNOY OUR SON ON SUCH A BIG DAY! IT'S A TOURNAMENT FOR KAMI'S SAKE! YOU BETTER GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER ECHIZEN NANJIROU OR YOU'LL BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE WHEN I GET OVER THERE NEXT WEEK..."_

Nanjirou was terrified of his angry wife. "Demo, Rinko-chan! Ryuuzaki-sensei said I sucked at tennis."

Echizen could picture his mother rolling her eyes. _"Yes. She was on the phone saying that you used to suck at tennis when you first started middle school. You couldn't use a backhand shot. She didn't say that you didn't improve, Nanjirou."_

Nanjirou sighed and a smile came to his face. "Yay! Thank you, Rinko-chan."

Nanjirou heard the single chuckle over the phone. _"Well, you're still in trouble for harrassing Ryoma, Nanjirou. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I can tell you in English if you'd like."_

"No, I don't think that's ne-"

"_DO YOU UNDERSTAND? STOP HARRASSING RYOMA! __Now hand the phone back to Ryoma-chan please."_

Nanjirou did as he was told and Echizen answered his mother. "Yes?"

"_Hello? Ryoma?"_

"Yes, I'm here. What did you say to the old man?"

"_I told him that Ryuuzaki was on the phone saying that Nanjirou used to suck at tennis when he first started middle school."_

Ryoma raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"_No. I lied. Good luck with your tournament today. Do your best! I love you."_

"Yes, love you too, bye mother." With that, Echizen hung up on his mother.

Eiji was scared. He could hear every word that whomever Nanjirou was talking to. "O'chibi, who was on the phone?"

Echizen smiled and chuckled evilly. "My mother."

**I will not tell Nanjirou that Ryuuzaki-sensei thinks he sucks at tennis.**

**(A/N: The best of the special three is coming up next. It's very very hilariously funny so I hope you look out for it. I promise I'll update the next one sooner! Review, please!)**


	15. Experience fifteen! SUPER SPECIAL 3!

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat Rikkaidai, St Rudolf's and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number fifteen - THE SUPER SPECIAL UPDATE PART 3! Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience fifteen**

Eiji sat on the bench inside the boy's locker room as he took out his racket. He hadn't been feeling particularly well and had been avoiding Tomoka after the previous golden pear incident. He still thought she was a cannibal. He also had a new fear of Echizen whenever Echizen touched his phone. He didn't like the sound of his 'demon mother' that came across at the tournament yesterday.

Thinking about the tournament, Eiji felt his left shoulder and upper arm start to hurt again, despite the pain killers he had been given by his doctor. The bone wasn't broken, but the muscles were pulled and there was going to be a massive bruise. He had made a note to take the day easily.

"- oh, and the left-handers have the plague! First, they seem normal and then they slowly turn evil. They like call other left-handers and torture all the right-handers-"

Outside, Tomoka held a new book in her hands. It was by an American author but had been translated into Japanese. The translation wasn't the best though. She was telling Sakuno how great the book was; Tomoka really enjoyed it.

However, inside, Eiji had heard this section of what Tomoka had said and panicked. He thought of Echizen and started hyperventilating. Yes, Eiji was hyperventilating over the fact Echizen had called his mother and tortured his own father without even seeing her face-to-face.

_Is Echizen's mother left-handed? Does she have the plague too? What does the plague do? Does it ever go away? _At this point, Eiji's hyperventilation was so bad, he fainted and fell on the chair, then the floor. Sadly, he fell on on the same shoulder/arm that was injured and managed to make it feel even. The full extent of his injury/bruise was not yet known, as it had yet to swell to much at the time it was checked, or the fact that he was lying unconscious on the locker room floor.

After a few minutes, Eiji got up himself, woken by the pain his left arm had created. He bit his lip and cursed. "Why? This is just some cheap trick the left-handers pulled, yeah. Either that or... or..."

Eiji continued ranting to himself, barely making any sense, for a long while until he was clutching his left arm in pain and muttering about left-handers and the plague. Between the pain and his anxiety against the 'plagued left-handers', Eiji had begun to hyperventilate again but had not yet fainted. He wasn't hyperventilating to that point... yet.

On the tennis courts, Oishi was getting worried. It shouldn't have taken any where near as long as it did for Eiji to get his tennis racket. Tezuka noticed Eiji walking out of the locker room and apologising to Ryuuzaki-sensei. Most likely because they were well aware he wasn't in best health but unaware of his arm.

Ryuuzaki nodded. "Yes. Go home and rest, Eiji."

Eiji smiled weakly and turned, giving a single wave with his right hand and leaving. Oishi instinctively ran after Eiji. "Eiji! Wait!"

Eiji turned to his doubles partner. "What's wrong, Oishi?"

Oishi looked at his friend. "Why are you leaving early?"

Eiji smiled incredibly weakly. So weakly it was fake. "I still feel a bit sick, so I'm going to go home and-"

The previous hyperventilating had done Eiji no good at all. Eiji was still conscious, but only barely. He had collapsed on Oishi, much to Oishi's surprise, and took several deep breaths to try and calm himself down. "Gomen, ne, Oishi."

By this stage, several of the other members had come over to help, including Echizen. "Kikumaru-senpai!"

Eiji, thanks to Tomoka and her book, panicked, but had no energy to show it. All of the carbon dioxide in his breath had been reduced because of his ragged breath. "Ah!" he quietly screamed, but it went unheard.

Oishi grabbed Eiji's shoulders, particularly the left one, to support Eiji. This time, everyone heard Eiji scream. "AH!"

It was so loud, the entire tennis court stopped playing. Oishi didn't know what he did, or what to do; he let go. "Eiji! What's wrong? Where are you hurt?"

Eiji hadn't collapsed in pain. It wasn't quite that bad. But it really did hurt. "It's the left handers! They've all got the plague! Tomo-chan said so!"

Oishi rolled his eyes and Echizen stopped in his tracks. "The plague?"

Eiji looked at Echizen, but hid behind Oishi and Fuji. "Well, at first, they seem normal and then they slowly turn evil. They like call other left-handers and torture all the right-handers."

Fuji thought for a moment. "That sounds like a book I read a little while ago. The left-handers all turned evil and gathered to kill the right-handers. In the end, there was one left-hander left that turned all of the left-handers back to normal with some sort of magical beam thing. It was quite intriguing."

Eiji calmed just a little. "Thank goodness."

Echizen smirked. It was something he could do to torment his senpai. Perhaps Momoshirou would fall for it too.

Echizen held his racket and let out an almost impossible to hear evil chuckle.

_Next time, Eiji-senpai. Next time..._

**I will not tell Eiji that left-handers have the plague.**

(Review, please? I know this is long overdue. I promise to create regular updates again! I promise, cross my soul and hope to die!)


	16. Experience sixteen

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat Rikkaidai, St Rudolf's and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number sixteen – I will not openly call Mizuki gay. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience sixteen**

Mizuki watched over the Seigaku tennis club with analytical eyes. They were the tiniest bit freaky for the freshman group who dubbed themselves the 'Ultimate Echizen Fangroup'.

Echizen seemed to take no notice of the group anymore. They just annoyed him as the St Ruldoph data collector watched over their matches so carefully he swore that every thought going through Mizuki's head was being written in the air like subtitles. To understand Mizuki he thought he needed subtitles anyway.

Fuji had a complete distrust and hatred for Mizuki. To take his brother away and teach him techniques that could potentially harm him was morally wrong. He was determind to never let Mizuki live it down. Of course, Mizuki took this as a rivalry. He was so wrong.

Now, the 'Ultimate Echizen Fangroup' were muttering their thoughts on Mizuki to each other. Tomoka wasn't all that quiet and neither was Horio. They were just loud people. Sakuno looked at Mizuki. "Don't you think he looks a little bit... not straight..."

Kachirou gulped but agreed. "He does look a little bit like... that. I saw him in a purple shirt the other day."

Katsuo looked at Kachirou. "But Tezuka-buchou once wore a purple shirt. You never thought he was... homosexual."

Kachirou looked back at Katsuo. "But Tezuka-buchou looks cool in a purple shirt. Mizuki looks..."

Tomoka sighed and outwardly exclaimed to the world, "we get that you think Mizuki is gay. Now stop avoiding telling each other that and get over it. Sheesh."

Mizuki's head darted toward the 'Ultimate Echizen Fangroup' and gave a low growl. "I'll show you who's gay."

Everyone turned around to try and faced Mizuki. "What? Who's gay?" Most of the people asked in unison.

Mizuki crossed his arms and smirked. "Who is missing?"

The team scanned the area. "Tezuka-buchou, Echizen and Arai."

Mizuki smirked. "My analogy and analysis-"

Momo rolled his eyes. "Can someone please install a subtitle machine to him? One to Inui could be nice too."

Eiji agreed. "please do, nya"

The conspiracies continued even after Arai returned. They had no idea what Mizuki was saying and Inui was trying to install some sort of battery operated device beside him. Inui took Mizuki's arm without Mizuki even noticing as he continued to ramble. Inui attached some sort of chord like he would a heart monitor in a hospital and Mizuki just kept rambling. With the flick of a switch, words came up on a screen that Inui soon attached to Mizuki.

Everyone cried out with glee. Their prayers had been answered. Inui had created a human subtitling machine. They could actually understand Mizuki now.

Finally, Tezuka and Echizen returned to the group and to anyone who had mastered translating Tezuka's extremely subtle facial expressions, Tezuka was slightly flustered. Mizuki smirked. "Did you have a nice time, Tezuka?" The machine translated Mizuki's words to be. No one paid attention to his actual words anymore.

Tezuka, noticing the screen and reading it, instantly kept his mouth closed as Echizen walked passed without a word. A few moments later, they heard 'Mada mada da ne, Tezuka-buchou."

No one believed that Tezuka was gay. There was no chance. Echizen wasn't likely to be gay either.

Tomoka frowned and pointed an accusing finger at Mizuki. "Stop hiding the fact you're gay, Mizuki!"

Mizuki fumed. "WHY YOU LITTLE-"

Exhizen walked over to Tezuka. "Aren't you lucky we weren't caught, bu-chan."

Tezuka let out the tiniest little smirk that only Echizen saw. "We are lucky, aren't we?"

Meanwhile, Mizuki was protesting against Tomoka. They doubted that Tomoka and Mizuki would go home tonight.

**I will not openly call Mizuki gay.**

(Review, please? Mid Year Exams over thus I can resume daily updates thankfully.)


	17. Experience seventeen

**(Okay, Daily updates isn't working, but it will. I promise. It's holidays!)**

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number seventeen – I will not ask Taka-san for his opinion on ginger, pork, sardines, sweet chilli sauce and tofu sushi. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience seventeen**

Takashi was working busily in his father's sushi store. He had invited everyone to come over for a celebration of making it through their latest competition on top. This wasn't very hard. The competition was so easy that Echizen was tempted to play blindfolded alongside Momoshiro in doubles two. Thankfully, they didn't rub it in the other finalists faces.

He smiled to himself at the thought of the outraged Mizuki. The could understand him at least now. That was a good thing. Tomoka had gotten out of that situation pretty Scot-free.

He overheard something like Echizen calling Tezuka 'bu-chan' but he let it go. Someone else probably said chan just after Echizen said bu and thus it made bu-chan.

He cut up some more of his much loved eel sushi. Eiji was sure to want some extra. With the array of sushi, Takashi needed to find some more gari or ginger because according to sushi etiquette, gari should be eaten between different types of sushi but never in the same bite. Sushi etiquette was important in a sushi restaurant.

Placing the chopsticks on the bar in case any wanted sashimi, Takashi wiped some sweat from his brow with his sleeve. It was hard work re-arranging the sushi bar by himself. His father was out collecting the new stock.

Five people walked into the restaurant with smiles on their faces. "Konnichiwa, Taka-senpai!"

Takashi smiled at his guests. "Welcome! You're early."

The 'Ultimate Echizen fangroup' smiled. "We wanted to ask you some questions for a class project we're doing. It's about mixing flavours of sushi."

Takashi was interested by their project. Anything to do with sushi or tennis actually interested him. "Ask away."

Tomoka took a deep breath while she tried to read the list. "What do you think of ginger, pork, sardines, sweet chilli sauce, tofu-"

Takashi stopped her mid sentence. His sushi etiquette was screaming at the list. "Ginger is to be eaten in separate bites to the sushi rolls. Meat should not be mixed and tofu is usually a replacement meat. Is that all?"

The list then continued. It continued for so long, Takashi fainted at the list. There was no way any would fit together in one sushi roll and it definitely wouldn't pass as an acceptable taste.

Katsuo gently shook Tomoka's shoulder. "Tomoka-san, Taka-senpai has been unconscious for a while. Should we call an ambulance?"

Tomoka shook her head. "He'll be fine. We just should leave the doors open."

As Tomoka led them all out the door, she noticed the regulars walking in. "Thank you, Taka-senpai!"

Fuji was curious to what Takashi had done previously. He led the regulars in with Eiji on one side and the overly eager Momoshiro on the other. "Taka-san, we're here."

Panic filled the room. "Taka-san!"

Tezuka turned around to the freshman group. "For knocking Kawamura unconscious you will need to make our-"

Oishi gently put a hand on Tezuka's shoulder. "Tezuka, they'd most likely give us food poisoning."

Tezuka nodded. "Freshman, take yourselves to Ryuuzaki-sensei and explain yourselves. She'll figure out a suitable punishment. Inui is with her at the moment."

The freshman froze at the thought. Inui juice. Quite quickly, there were no freshman left. Echizen chuckled and pulled down his cap. "Mada mada da ne."

**I will not ask Taka-san for his opinion on ginger, pork, sardines, sweet chilli sauce and tofu sushi.**

**(I watched Speed Racer today and I heard one of the commentators say 'mada mada da na and I laughed really loudly. No one else got it. One of the signs also said ramen. Mmm, ramen.)**

**(Review, pretty please?)**


	18. Experience eighteen

**(A.N:I'm not going to lie. I lost the list so I couldn't type anything. But I found it! YAY!!)**

**50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again.**

**Feat. St Rudolph, RikkaiDai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Experience eighteen – I will not blame Oishi for stealing Eiji's toothpaste. Crackish. Minor Fluff.**

**Experience eighteen.**

Eiji followed through with what he usually did after a long, sweaty afternoon practice. A shower to clean himself up and brush his teeth. He brushed his teeth three times a day. In the morning, after practice and before he went to bed.

Eiji shuffled through his bag as he began to panic. His precious toothpaste. It was gone! Fuji and Oishi quickly noted Eiji's strange behaviour as they tried to figure out what had created Eiji to go into such a panic. It was worse that the time he thought Tomoka was a cannibal or that left-handers had the plague; even the amount of panic from the two events put together didn't equal up to now.

Fuji gently placed a hand on Eiji's shoulder. "Eiji, what have you lost?"

Eiji was almost crying. "My strawberry toothpaste! It's gone! Someone stole it!"

Fuji smiled just a little. "Are you sure you didn't just put it down somewhere? You might have left it in your locker."

Eiji quickly checked his locker for any sign of his toothpaste. Oishi frowned as Eiji returned looking even worse. Eiji loved his toothpaste. "Eiji, do you want to borrow my toothpaste for now?"

Eiji quavered but still nodded. It was better than no toothpaste. "Nya, thank you Oishi."

Slowly opening the stubborn zipper, Oishi peered inside. "Eiji, is this your toothpaste?"

Eiji was instantly mad. "You stole my toothpaste, Oishi!"

Oishi waved his hands to try and protect himself. "I didn't! I promise! Maybe you accidentally put it in my bag!"

The next day went on like so with Eiji determined that Oishi had indeed stolen his toothpaste.

After a verbal beating from Fuji, Tomoka gently tapped on Eiji's side. "Eiji-senpai."

Eiji turned around with fierce eyes. "What?"

Tomoka shivered in fright. "Eiji-senpai, Oishi-senpai didn't steal your toothpaste."

Eiji softened just a little. "What do you mean, nya?"

Tomoka was scared of Eiji's reaction. "I stole it."

All hell broke loose in Seigaku right then. Eiji was not pleased that he hadn't been told. "You could have asked, Tomo-chan!"

Tomoka quivered. "I'm really sorry!"

**I will not blame Oishi for stealing Eiji's toothpaste.**

**(A.N: Daily updates will resume, finally. Check out my other PoT fic, The Search for Blood when it's up in about ten minutes. It's a little darker, but it's good, I think. It shows a different angle of Seigaku. Anywho, please review, as always! Thank you for 116 reviews!)**


	19. Experience nineteen

50 things I will never do at Seishun Gakuen again

**50 things I will never do at**** Seishun**** Gakuen again!**

**Feat. St Rudolf, Rikkaidai and Hyotei.**

**Take Tomoka and Sakuno's advice! Number nineteen – I will not challenge Hyotei on behalf of the first years. Crackish. Minor Fluff. Series of Drabbles & oneshots.**

**Experience nineteen**

One would question how smart the first years actually were. Most would think that challenging Hyotei to play against the first years was a little stupid. Maybe not a little. One would question just how stupid they were. There was no way to measure it.

The girls stood as the three boys stood on the courts weakly. But a genius idea came to mind. "Echizen! He's a first year!"

Atobe stood in front of the others on the court. "Is this worth it, or am ore-sama just dishonoring myself by playing you weaklings? Be awed by my prowess!"

Tomoka had to comment. "We're not as weak as you think! There's some first years that could defeat you without a problem!"

Atobe smirked. "Who could defeat ore-sama?"

Tomoka smirked evilly. "Echizen Ryoma!"

Atobe frowned. "Anyone else?"

Tomoka quietly faced her defeat. "No."

Ryuuzaki Sumire, also known as the dragon lady, walked up behind the first years and crossed her arms. "What are you doing? You're challenging Hyotei? Are you mad?" she huffed.

Sakuno hesitated, "Tomoka… accidentally… challenged them. She didn't really mean it."

Ryuuzaki was definitely not pleased. "Atobe, go home. This girl is a very stupid child."

Atobe sighed angrily. "A waste of ore-sama's time."

Sakuno quickly apologized. "I'm sorry!"

Tomoka sighed. "I'm sorry too," She said reluctantly.

Ryuuzaki unfolded her arms. "Don't think this is all of your punishment. I'll tell Inui has two test subjects for the next few experiments."

Tomoka and Sakuno exchanged worried glares. "Oh, no."

**I will not challenge Hyotei on behalf of the first years.**


End file.
